Tabloid Humor Fan Gifts

'It's a shocker - he was caught having a quiet night in with a mug of Horlicks.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

What's normal?

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

The Brothers Grime

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

10 K Tail-Chase

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

The Snarky District

On the brink.

Parade of Businessmen

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."