Bigamy Humor Fan Pillows

'Still adding to your collection, Sir?'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

The Thinker?

"Yes ... no!"

How men process questions.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'