Biblical Quotes Gifts

"One more, "get thee behind me Satan" and you'll experience "death do us part"."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Moses separating his Laundry.

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Yes, all at once!'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Say hello to my little friend."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Little Known Moments In History

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'