Reading Bible Quotes Gifts

I don't look like much, but I'm going to inherit the earth.

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Little Known Moments In History

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

"I have an app for that."

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Rocket Ark

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

"God's sent us some chocolates."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

Noah posted his first tweet.

"Sure he's cute, Lord. . . He's just not what I had a mind for a companion!"

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Hey samson, nice man bun."