Biblical Quoter Gifts

"I tried shutting my mouth and opening my mind, but then I remembered it's better to give than to receive."

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

Historical memory is on life support.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Say hello to my little friend."

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Macbeth: Take Two

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

Plant Parenthood...

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

'Where were the wise women?'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art though, Romeo? Seriously, wherefore art thou? Shakespeare in the Dark.

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

"In the future, son, everyone will be an attorney for fifteen minutes."

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

National Security Agency. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Entrance. I doubt they mean that in the same way Socrates did!

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

"I think I'd like to quote that in a tweet."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."