Literary Quoter Gifts

Macbeth: Take Two

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Historical memory is on life support.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Say hello to my little friend."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Plant Parenthood...

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art though, Romeo? Seriously, wherefore art thou? Shakespeare in the Dark.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca," "Of all the comic strips in all the newspapers in all the world, you walk into mine." ? ? ?

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"In the future, son, everyone will be an attorney for fifteen minutes."

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

"The truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!"

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"I think I'd like to quote that in a tweet."

National Security Agency. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Entrance. I doubt they mean that in the same way Socrates did!

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"