Biblical Questioner Gifts

'Where were the wise women?'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

Worst. God. Ever.

"Religion gives us a reason to go to war to prove how much we love peace."

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"What's it all about?"

'Dad, tell me again what life's about.'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

"Thank you for not praying."

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

'The meaning of life? -- You CAN take a joke, can't you?'

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.

Man sees vending machine for 'Satisfaction' with an 'Out of Order' sign.

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"....and next we have a same-sex goose couple with a civil rights attorney pair."

Church Growth

'We'll get these down pat first, and work out the details later.'

Sin and Doubt Boxes in Hell.

"Not the God I expected."

'Sorry, no carbs.'

"Now, nobody fall while I'm gone because I won't hear it."