Spiritual Questioners Gifts

'What's the penalty for backsliding?'

"So what if Jesus was sent here to suffer and die... We all do that."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Where were the wise women?'

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

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'Is there a God? God knows...'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

"Are you sure that this is really the way? I thought there was a staircase or highway?" "Maybe we should just go back down and pray!"

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

Thomas Aquinas

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

Christian Speed Dating

I'm tired of blessings in disguise--if it's al the same to you, I want one I can recognize immediately!

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

"Thank you for not praying."

Just a thought on nooses.

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

'Ray, I think you may have a winning lottery ticket in the pants you were buried in...'

"Wouldn't I have to pent first?"

"If God had meant for penguins to fly he'd have given us feathers."