Religion Questioner Gifts

Church Growth

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Where were the wise women?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"How long has he been missing?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"What's it all about?"

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

'Dad, tell me again what life's about.'

Actual Results May Vary

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

Basic Theology

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

'The meaning of life? -- You CAN take a joke, can't you?'

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization