Religious Questioner Gifts

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

The Tears of Christ

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Where were the wise women?'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'Is there a God? God knows...'

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"How long has he been missing?"

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"Religion gives us a reason to go to war to prove how much we love peace."

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Evolution of God. . .

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

"Thank you for not praying."

Christian Speed Dating

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

Mounted Devil

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

Randy, great news: I've become a person of faith. Which faith? The main one. the hip one. you know - the one used in all the red states. Or maybe the one Madonna and Tom Cruise are into. Either way, I'm deeply committed. You should be.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'