Spiritual Questioner Gifts

Door-to-Door Agnostic

Bible.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"But what if this is all there is?"

'Where were the wise women?'

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

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'Is there a God? God knows...'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"Are you sure that this is really the way? I thought there was a staircase or highway?" "Maybe we should just go back down and pray!"

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

Thomas Aquinas

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

Christian Speed Dating

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

I'm tired of blessings in disguise--if it's al the same to you, I want one I can recognize immediately!

"Thank you for not praying."

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

'Ray, I think you may have a winning lottery ticket in the pants you were buried in...'

"If God had meant for penguins to fly he'd have given us feathers."