Spiritual Questioner Gifts

Door-to-Door Agnostic

Bible.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"But what if this is all there is?"

'Where were the wise women?'

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"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"Are you sure that this is really the way? I thought there was a staircase or highway?" "Maybe we should just go back down and pray!"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

Thomas Aquinas

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"Thank you for not praying."

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

Christian Speed Dating

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

"If God had meant for penguins to fly he'd have given us feathers."

"Wouldn't I have to pent first?"

"What's a polite but firm way of letting them know I don't like modern architecture?"