Bible School Dropout Gifts

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

Dog Training.

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

"Get in step."

'Is he sitting?'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

'Did the mail come?'

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

"He's coming out halo first!"

"Now, I don't mean to imply anything, but some of these seem an awful lot like the Code of Hammurabi...."

'... So then, I dropped out of university and hooked up with this nudist colony.'

Of course everyone likes you. You quit law school.

'You called for tech support?'

"You're always trying too hard, Eddie!"

"I stopped going to yoga when they told me I had to turn my phone off."

"I gave up yoga when I found out walking around with a yoga mat is not considered yoga."

'Did you really? I flunked out of Bob Jones, too!'

'Rusty, stay!'

'Of course they haven't been tested on animals!'

'I hope he's taking this class pass/fail.'

"After dropping out of obedience school, my life just went downhill..."

Forget The Diet And Bake Zum Pies!

"You're only supposed to FETCH the newspaper!"

"Can you tell me the first thing you did wrong?"

'Thumb through this bible - There ought to be ONE more movie in there.'