Obedience School Dropouts Gifts

"After dropping out of obedience school, my life just went downhill..."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Bad dog."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Zombie pet tricks.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

Dog Training.

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"Not until you fetch the other one."

Obedience School Graduation.

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Text!"

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'