Obedience School Dropout Gifts

'Is he sitting?'

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Get in step."

'SIT!'

'Did the mail come?'

'I bit them and ran!' 'While the Doberman was giving them trouble, I bolted!'

'I hope he's taking this class pass/fail.'

'Rusty, stay!'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"You're only supposed to FETCH the newspaper!"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Bad dog."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Zombie pet tricks.

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Balloon dog training

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."