Obedience School Dropout Gifts

'Is he sitting?'

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Get in step."

'SIT!'

'Did the mail come?'

'I bit them and ran!' 'While the Doberman was giving them trouble, I bolted!'

'I hope he's taking this class pass/fail.'

'Rusty, stay!'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"Not bad, but I said, 'Stay'."

"You're only supposed to FETCH the newspaper!"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Bad dog."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Zombie pet tricks.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Dog Training.

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."