Obedience School Dropout Humorist Gifts

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

Balloon dog training

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

Back to school: The Horror,

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

Dog Training.

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."