Best-seller Hopeful Gifts

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"What made you start blogging about success?"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"I fell I have a great novel me."