Book Sales Gifts

"We need a better distribution system."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Larry's used art

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Meet the author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

The Dorrie Decimal System

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

No-Work Orange