Book Seller Gifts

Book stall at a railway station

"Sales of your book has been slow. We've decided to put it out on video."

BOOKSHOP, 'Do you have 'Books for Dummies'?' 'Well, duh!'

Book on selling.

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

'How to survive chapter 11.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

The Dorrie Decimal System

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Rare Books

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Author does not do tricks."

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Sue the Author 3PM

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

'Perhaps Sallie had made her bookshop too comfortable'