Bookseller Gifts

"What would you boys think if we started selling books?"

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

Reference books - Health & Safety.

'We have 'how to' books on most subjects, but we don't seem to have 'How To Dig A Hole'.'

"Don't you think you should try to find the Self-Help section on your own?"

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

Barns

'Caught him stealing a book... 'Karma'.'

"I'd like to buy a book on chutzpah and I'd like you to pay for it"

Bookstores outpace the Kindle by devising a way to transfer every book ever written directly into a customer's brain.

'I'm sorry, madam, that's not much help - lots of books start !Once upon a time!'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

'I might see if they're any cheaper online.'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

Book Shop: DYI section

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

Fact...autobiography...fiction: 'See - it's always somewhere in between...'

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

"We've moved a few things around. Travel books are in the Fantasy section, Politics is in Sci-Fi, and Epidemiology is in Self-Help. Good luck."

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

'I don't want to be of any trouble, but do you have a copy of,'Winning Through Intimidation'?'

'Couldn't finish it. I got reader's block.'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Graphic novels, Comics, Underground comics.

Cat pointing at 'Do Not Dog Ear Books' sign to dog.

Thief stealing a self-help book on kleptomania

Handyman books.

World of Insurance

'The books on decision making are either in aisle 2 or aisle 4...I'm not sure.'

"I'd just like to congratulate you on how skillfully you've hidden my novel!"

Staff Picks. Please Note: We are probably going to fire Brian