Bookseller T-Shirts

"What would you boys think if we started selling books?"

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

Reference books - Health & Safety.

'We have 'how to' books on most subjects, but we don't seem to have 'How To Dig A Hole'.'

"Don't you think you should try to find the Self-Help section on your own?"

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

"I'd like to buy a book on chutzpah and I'd like you to pay for it"

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

'I'm sorry, madam, that's not much help - lots of books start !Once upon a time!'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Caught him stealing a book... 'Karma'.'

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'I might see if they're any cheaper online.'

Book Shop: DYI section

Fact...autobiography...fiction: 'See - it's always somewhere in between...'

Cat pointing at 'Do Not Dog Ear Books' sign to dog.

'I don't want to be of any trouble, but do you have a copy of,'Winning Through Intimidation'?'

'Couldn't finish it. I got reader's block.'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

"We've moved a few things around. Travel books are in the Fantasy section, Politics is in Sci-Fi, and Epidemiology is in Self-Help. Good luck."

Thief stealing a self-help book on kleptomania

Graphic novels, Comics, Underground comics.

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

Catalogue of Disasters

"We no longer shelve gay fiction separately. It's been assimilated."

"I'd just like to congratulate you on how skillfully you've hidden my novel!"

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'I'm sorry, I haven't heard of that book...what channel is it on?'

Staff Picks. Please Note: We are probably going to fire Brian

Talking Books: "Stop thief...!"

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'