Publishing Hopeful Gifts

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'I just wrote a novel on this phone and sent it to 137 publishers and got back 129 rejections in 12 seconds.'

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

A writer walks over water towards a publisher

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"What made you start blogging about success?"

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."