Best-seller Hopeful T-Shirts

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

"What made you start blogging about success?"

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'