Bed Linen Connoisseur Gifts

Sheet Music

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

When laundry ruled the waves.

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Curtains haberdashery

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

'We'll take it!'

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'How does this one feel?'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

Mangle

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Wine Lovers

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."