Linen Aficionado Gifts

"Vlad realized, right there and then, that he should have bought the buff-white or even the oatmeal-colored sheets."

Moses separating his Laundry.

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

Business School. Our case study is an umbrella company bankrupted by fabric costs. They were killed by high overhead expenses!

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Santa's wash day.

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'Happy now?'

Day 38 of self-isolation and many people are using the time to discover and enjoy new hobbies.

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'He wants a second opinion.'

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

String Theory for Beginners.

Knitted Kitty.

"And do you, Scott, take Amy, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, through mysterious separations of indefinite duration, as long as you both may live?"

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'