Laundry Connoisseur Gifts

Mangle

"All the quarters, now!"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Drunk, yet orderly"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Dreams I have had...

'Caw blimey!'

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

Santa's wash day.

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"And do you, Scott, take Amy, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, through mysterious separations of indefinite duration, as long as you both may live?"

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

"Why do I always gain socks in the wash?" "In a Parallel Universe"

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"We've done it! We've done it! We've discovered a detergent that takes the chore out of washing and makes all other detergents seem old-fashioned by comparison!"

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

Giraffe holding up the washing line.

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'