Laundry Connoisseur Gifts

Mangle

"All the quarters, now!"

Moses separating his Laundry.

The Missing Sock Returns

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'Caw blimey!'

Dreams I have had...

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Santa's wash day.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"And do you, Scott, take Amy, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, through mysterious separations of indefinite duration, as long as you both may live?"

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

"Why do I always gain socks in the wash?" "In a Parallel Universe"

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

"I'm making him take a spin class."

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"We've done it! We've done it! We've discovered a detergent that takes the chore out of washing and makes all other detergents seem old-fashioned by comparison!"

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'