Bed Linen Connoisseur Pillows

Sheet Music

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

When laundry ruled the waves.

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Curtains haberdashery

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'We'll take it!'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

'How does this one feel?'

Mangle

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

Wine Lovers

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'