Bedroom Connoisseur Gifts

Wine Lovers

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

WC problem.

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

'This closet needs digitized.'

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

Rishi Sunak

"Dang it."

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

A baroque elk.

Dummy Sucking Area

"Sheets and pillowcases, Franz, we're selling sheets and pillowcases!. . ."

Book Store. I'm looking for a book on remodeling kitchen cabinets. Ah --- A "shelf-improvement" book!

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

Which one of these things is the soap?

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

'When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the paneling department at Home Depot.'

Coffin & Breakfast.

Sheet Music

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

Cat taking it easy after spending the previous 23 hours sleeping.

'How can you claim we lead the good life when we don't even have a brass toilet paper dispenser?'

'I agree, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a boring title for a book about home decorating, but I'm getting some great ideas for the bedroom!'

'Mine!'

'What size you folks want. . . twin? Double? Single?'

"Modernism, if i may make a suggestion, Madam, is becoming just a little dated."