Bedroom Decor Enthusiast Gifts

"Dang it."

Sleeping Mozart

'I agree, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a boring title for a book about home decorating, but I'm getting some great ideas for the bedroom!'

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress...Should last for years...'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Cat statues on entrance gate

"You're welcome."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Posh Easter Egg

Duvet nailed to the floor.

Tedious Romantic.

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

King Madras