Bedroom Decor Enthusiast Pillows

"Dang it."

Sleeping Mozart

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress...Should last for years...'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

"You're welcome."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

Tedious Romantic.

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

Posh Easter Egg

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"