Bedroom Decor Aficionado Pillows

"Good night, legs."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Board Game Hunter

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

King Madras

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Doulton Canada Geese

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."