Dorm Decor Enthusiast Pillows

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"You're welcome."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

King Madras

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Pea green

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."