Bedroom Fun Enthusiast Gifts

"I thought videoing ourselves in bed would be more fun than this."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

Wine Lovers

Sleeping masks

"Dang it."

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

101 Positions/101 Excuses

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'All hail the queen of static electricity!'

Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'

'Don't hurt it.'

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

Sex Games of the Married

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

'I agree, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a boring title for a book about home decorating, but I'm getting some great ideas for the bedroom!'

'Mine!'

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

We have mandatory retirement at my house, too. They make me go to bed by eight-thirty.

'School vacation is over...come along quietly.'

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress...Should last for years...'

"And you're sure an adjustable bed will help with the sharp pains in my back?"

'There's a four letter word for what we do in bed -R-E-A-D.'