Bedroom Fun Seekers Gifts

Sex Games of the Married

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

Photobooth Photobomb

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

Olympic Jar Opening Event

"Abra-Viagra."

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

When the water's colder than you thought...

'...No, you're not going to be chillin' at a crucially cool awesome rave. It's Daniel's birthday party.'

'I love dogs that come in family size.'

Wine Lovers

"Never seen a cow before?"

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

101 Positions/101 Excuses

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Flying carpets: new and used.

"Have you tried jet skiing? - I've never seen an unhappy jet skier."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

'Don't hurt it.'

"I love how you children are taking to our summer home!"