Bedroom Adventurer Gifts

'Don't hurt it.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Woman with a 'Teach yourself better sex' book has put man in the corner with a dunce haton

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

The lesser known active volcanoes.

Please excuse him, he's intent.

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

'We'll take it!'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Hold on Cutlet! We have to get past Mom's waxed floor!

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

Gamers

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"Every day I consider using that doggy door. But my laziness outweighs my desire to hunt."

"It's so hard to settle on a office temperature that everybody likes."

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

Dating... In the age of the coronavirus

"Mom says you are going to play in the sand."

'I hate rainy days!'