Bedroom Explorer Gifts

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Outside with that!'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

Biting Slippers.

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"As you can see, it comes fully furnished!"

Wine Lovers

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

Closet.

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

Dali Paints His Dreams

"Are we there yet?"

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Looks like beach weather."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

"If Harold had learned anything over 50 years of marriage, it was the importance of keeping things interesting in the bedroom."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Don't hurt it.'

'Holy shit!'