Bedroom Experimenter Gifts

"If Harold had learned anything over 50 years of marriage, it was the importance of keeping things interesting in the bedroom."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

Jazz is Invented

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Tedious Romantic.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

'We'll take it!'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

Wine Lovers

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

Bad Violinist.

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Are we there yet?"

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

'Holy shit!'

'Don't hurt it.'

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'