Bedroom Innovator Gifts

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Tedious Romantic.

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"I've upcycled your magazines into an ottoman."

Television company new recruit

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

Wine Lovers

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

Paper Bath Towels.

"The rules don't say anything about Airbnb-ing your property to help pay off the mortgage."

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

It's a beautiful day. Take your computer and invent the next crippling internet virus outside.

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

Dali Paints His Dreams

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

"The bathroom was recently remodeled with more options."

'Don't hurt it.'

I'd love to wallpaper our bedroom, but it's too expensive. Not necessarily. Teddy wallpapered his entire room. What?! D�cor. For the cost of a few dozen movie magazines. And a fortune in scotch tape. Rolling Stone.

"After the kids moved out I had the house redesigned to reflect the real me."

Extremes meet - A very tall guest is shown to a short bed.