Bedroom Antics Enthusiast Gifts

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"What's all this?"

Bed Fellow

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"Abra-Viagra."

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

Wine Lovers

"Dang it."

'My member requires some interest.'

'You should apply for government relief. Your room is a disaster area!'

101 Positions/101 Excuses

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Don't hurt it.'

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

'Paradise awaits pauline Norris' man in bed with a mask on

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv

New Karma Sutra: No.1 The Begging Position.

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

'I agree, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a boring title for a book about home decorating, but I'm getting some great ideas for the bedroom!'