Cabinet Connoisseur Gifts

Rishi Sunak

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Book Store. I'm looking for a book on remodeling kitchen cabinets. Ah --- A "shelf-improvement" book!

Ernie's Furniture. Ernie stands behind his furniture, but that's only so it won't tip over.

Japanese PM Junichiro Koizumi reshuffles his cabinet

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Too much cilantro

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

A Day In The Kitchen

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Crane fishing

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Do you have an Isa?"

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

Man-made vs dog-made

"No, we're looking for a roofer, not a woofer."

'I think he's had it with dry dog food.'

Moliere

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

Bleak House

"When a man is tired of pasta, sir, he is tired of life. Dr. Johnson."