Kitchenware Connoisseur Gifts

'Our relationship has never been the same since Jeff ran off with that spoon...'

'You can dish it out, but you just can't take it.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Counting ribs

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Too much cilantro

A Day In The Kitchen

'I love it when you spoon me.'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"Do you have an Isa?"

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

'I think he's had it with dry dog food.'

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

Thank you for the wedding present.

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.