Kitchen Gadgetry Aficionado Gifts

"I'm fed up with the daily grind..."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

GMOs: The Next Generation

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"Doctor. I am speechless"

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Tin Opening

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"Here's our everything's included meal kit. How do they stuff a cook and dishwasher in there?"

Motor-blender.

Pocket Knife Food Processor

"Butt cracker"

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Swiss Kitchen

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

'If you hire me, you'll get this lovely electrical water kettle for free!!'

"For your birthday, I got you a food processor!"

'I don't know if artificial intelligence in a toaster is a good thing. It just seems to make toast whenever it feels like it.'

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."