Kitchen Appliance Aficionado Gifts

Toast

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

Entertainment systems

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

Thank you for the wedding present.