Appliance Aficionados Gifts

"My turn next!"

"I find things go around in cycles."

Wow. That was a lot faster. (Published originally on October 20, 2011.)

"Customer services?...about this self cleaning cooker."

'Well, no wonder -- you should have had it winterized.'

The Tragic Story of a Man With a Pace Maker and A Witch With a Microwave.

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'Of course, no modern family can afford to live without our new energy efficient clothes dryer.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"It's difficult to trust in a scanner that is also copier, fax machine, telephone and microwave oven."

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

"While you were on your fishing holiday with your pals I bought a new dishwasher!"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Roasted

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"My compliments to the can opener."

Entertainment systems

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"Does it come with magnets?"

"To toast!"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?