Appliance Lover Gifts

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

Entertainment systems

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

Tin Opening

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

Tonight's Lecture: Earth's Biodiversity at Risk. Obviously, they've never looked inside my refrigerator.

"Butt cracker"