Appliance Aficionado Gifts

'Your husband is on line two. He says it's an emergency. He wants to know how to work the microwave.'

Kitchen Waste

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

'Whatever's the most durable. This is the fifth year it's been regifted.'

Why don't you look at ME that way?

'He was our top salesman. We hope that one day, he will be again.'

Bought one last year. Biggest mistake we ever made. He keeps putting the milk back upside down.

'And with this model we throw in a nice selection of refrigerator magnets!'

More or less dry

"The washing machine is very energy efficient. I just wish Frank was!"

'When it does, deliver it to this address.'

"Not right this second, but I'm very unhappy with that refrigerator."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

The final all-toast supper at apartment 5-B

'This will be perfect. I have two teenagers.'

'Have you tried not watching it, sir?'

'Toasters don't make toast, people make toast...'

'My freezer's on the blink again.'

'How much just to feel sorry for it?'

Toast Coming To Work

Snake Charmer Cleaning Stairs with Vacuum.

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'That hasn't been invented yet. And even if it was, we couldn't afford one.'

'My computer controls all of my appliances. Since I installed pop up blocker software, my toaster doesn't work.'

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

"When they said the Internet of things we have our appliances talking to each other I didn't think this is what they meant!"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

We Shoplift to Order: "Who wanted the fridge?"

Midlife Crises of Appliances.

"Hey! 'Made in U.S.A.'!"

"Now this baby can hold up to five hundred magnets."

"We are not buying a refrigerator with a learning curve."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

James Dyson

Crumbs