Appliance Enthusiast Gifts

'Of course, the one you buy would be upright. This is just the floor model.'

'From this X-ray, I can see that there is no possibility of reviving your toaster.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"I'm afraid you can't keep coming to try out the dishwashers, madam."

'Is it supposed to do that?'

"My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen.. "Frank got me a toaster for Christmas."

'This one is a dieter's dream! Any visits to it between meals and it self destructs!'

'I doubt you will have what I'm looking for, young man - an eye-level grill?'

'What do you mean a circuit is overloaded? I thought you guaranteed your work for thirty days.'

'Our dishwasher is so old we have to kick it to get it started, but the kids like Gramma so I guess we'll keep her a while longer.'

Wordilly Durdillies - Fan assisted oven.

"I hear the diswasher has been cheating on the coffee pot."

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

"I'm looking for a new dishwasher. I divorced the old one."

Lonely Toaster

'You aerated the wine in the blender again, didn't you?'

"A self-cleaning oven? Can I get a self-cleaning room?"

"OK, you want a cool 70% in short-term with long-term assets frozen at 30%. Let me pull it all together, and I'll get back to you with a recommendation."

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

"Mother was right about you. You're a toaster."

'Hand over all your money or the toaster gets it!'

Your appliance maintenance agreement just expired. I'm here for your appliance...'

'Home Appliance Maintenance.'

'Maybe I shouldn't put 'instant cooling' on maximum.'

'It's just some 'Stir 'n' Blend', 'Bake 'n' Slice', 'Mix 'n' Broil', Chop 'n' Simmer and 'Pour 'n' Serve.'

The X-Tractor.

'I thought I'd ordered a toaster!'

"You're right, Doris - it was made in India."

"If it starts working, bring it back and I'll give you a refund."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

A graph showing the correlation between the quality of toasters and the progress of human civilization.

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

"He sold appliances."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'