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Rishi Sunak

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Japanese PM Junichiro Koizumi reshuffles his cabinet

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Too much cilantro

A Day In The Kitchen

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Crane fishing

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Do you have an Isa?"

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

Man-made vs dog-made

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

"No, we're looking for a roofer, not a woofer."

'I think he's had it with dry dog food.'

Moliere

Bleak House

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

'It's a good building contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

Charles Dickens.

"When a man is tired of pasta, sir, he is tired of life. Dr. Johnson."