Furniture Connoisseur T-Shirts

'When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the paneling department at Home Depot.'

'What size you folks want. . . twin? Double? Single?'

"Modernism, if i may make a suggestion, Madam, is becoming just a little dated."

"If the truth be told, I prefer Biedermeier."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Man's best friends."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Get... a-nother room!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"