Bed Hog Cub Pillows

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

Hogwarts Academy. What magic? This is a veterinary school specializing in swine skin conditions.

"USA map"

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'It's so cold in here, and the heat is on full blast!'

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

"I know I'm not using all the chair but I don't do sub-leases!"

"Oddly enough, I could never work in a cubicle."

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

"Yes, I know it's spring dear. But can I just have another day or two in bed?"

'My, my, don't we look fetching.'

"You knew I had a thing for pillows when you married me."

"Jeffrey, where'd you go?"

"Don't worry, he won't hurt you intentionally."

'For Diahrrea in hogs? Well, first of all, I'd feed bland garbage!'

Beware Of The Hog...

"What's a nice b**ch like you doing in a place like this?"

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

"My wife! Lying curled in the bed!"

A man watching television sees that the Apathy channel has been canceled due to a lack of interest.

Man's Best Friend

'Let's face it. . . the slop always looks better on the other side of the fence!'