Duvet Hog Pillows

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

Hogwarts Academy. What magic? This is a veterinary school specializing in swine skin conditions.

'And another thing - you hog the duvet!'

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'It's so cold in here, and the heat is on full blast!'

"USA map"

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

Beditation: "I am at one with the duvet."

"You knew I had a thing for pillows when you married me."

"We all have a duvet day, Martin, but a duvet week!"

A sleeping couple

Olympic Duvet Grabbing.

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

"Quit hogging the covers!"

Car Dog-Doors.

Woman threatens husband with gun in bed. He says: 'You've gone too far with this stealing the duvet habit.'

A good boss is quick to spot an employee who is working within their comfort zone.

Beware Of The Hog...

"My wife! Lying curled in the bed!"

A man watching television sees that the Apathy channel has been canceled due to a lack of interest.

'I've heard of couples arguing over the bedclothes before, but for them to call the police is ridiculous!'

'Sorry Ma'am, but stealing the duvet is not actually a criminal offense.'

'Doesn't he ever wash these things?'